food injuries
Last night we had pizza for dinner. The frozen kind, in which I was pretty disappointed. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood for it. Plus the crust was too thick. Digiorno, for future reference. Too bad we have one more to eat, since I insist on buying everything in bulk from Sam’s Club.
Just about everytime I eat pizza I get all raw and cut up in that spot on the roof of my mouth between my front teeth. The Little Red Haired Girl and I call it “tooth crotch”. We call the area tooth crotch, but we also call the injury tooth crotch. I guess because there is no other reason to refer to that body part.
To try and avoid tooth crotch I often cut my pizza into little pieces before eating it, but then everyone around thinks I’m a total tool. Sometimes I’ll try folding the slice in two, so that the cheese is sandwiched together and can’t burn me, but then the crust chafes my tooth crotch and it’s essentially the same effect. In fact, I get tooth crotch from eating crusty breads too, especially sandwiches on crusty breads.
Is everyone this sensitive to tooth crotch? The Little Red Haired Girl never seems to complain about it. Of course, she’s not as big a complainer as I am. But is there something genetically wrong with my tooth crotch that it’s more prone to injury? I wonder if some day we will evolve so that a little plate of armor grows over that area, thus forever eliminating tooth crotch. Can you imagine the first baby who has that? Who would notice it? Would that kid just grow up thinking that everyone has it? Maybe his or her dentist would notice. I hope they wouldn’t try and remove it. That would be lame.
