the world is your acorn

I don’t generally kill bugs and such. Partly it’s because I think it’s gross, and partly it’s because it doesn’t seem like a very nice thing to do. However, if you fall into the squirmy-larva-like category, and I notice you in the tub when I’m in the shower, you can pretty much expect to be seeing the inside of the drain right quick.

I had this scary dream last night which is still pretty clear in my head, which is unusual for me. I worked for this religious group, which might sound strange but it wasn’t strange in the dream. It was an office at the front of a house and a bunch of people trying to do a job, basically. Then suddenly we had a prisoner, who was being treated really well and with respect, but then I realized that my boss, who I thought was cool, was planning and wheeling him up this ramp-like apparatus with a platform at the top, then over the edge. It was going to be this big sacrifice that was going to make everyone crazy about our group somehow.

As the time got nearer I kept thinking I could convince the boss to change his mind, but then suddenly it was too late and he was holding a ziploc bag full of some of the prisoner’s organs. That hadn’t been part of the plan, to take out his organs, and I got really upset because I had liked the prisoner and plus I knew it was wrong to sacrifice him. So I pushed past my boss and ran out the door, getting some blood on me as I touched him.

I think some time passed for the office but not for me, because suddenly it was another day in the office and I had come back to gather my things. I still had the blood on me, and I was dirty, and I was in a t-shirt and mesh shorts but no underwear because one of my co-workers had hidden it for the bridal shower. (You might be asking, what bridal shower? Just try and follow along. It never made sense in the first place, remember?) So I was looking for my underwear under the direction of my co-worker, which resulted in finding a shirt before finding my underwear, which turned out to be a small blue ringer t-shirt.

Then suddenly I’m at the front desk and the boss is asking me to take a call because it’s super busy in the office now that the group is all popular from the sacrifice thing. And I’m like “oh, he must have forgotten that I went against him on this sacrifice thing and that I don’t work here anymore.” But part of me still wanted to stay because it had been a good job and I had enjoyed working with the people there. So I took the call, then I went into a room in the back to shower since I still had the blood on me. I started to go in the room when a co-worker came in also, asking what I was doing there. I had to beg him to just let me shower fast so I could leave, but I also told him about answering the phone and how the boss seemed to have forgotten that I quit. He just laughed at me, saying something snide about my not holding true to my values and he knew I’d come back.

So he went away and I showered under this shower head with a thin, powerful stream over a big bed. I didn’t want to get the bed wet so I tried to block the water with my body, and I got a hard stream of water in my left ear. So then I’m jumping around on my left foot on the floor trying to get the water out, and I loose my underwear again. Plus my eyes are bothering me, so I take out a contact from my right eye (I don’t wear contacts in real life), and discover that there have been 4 contacts in there the whole time. I take the contact out of my left eye, find an eyelash poking straight into my eyeball, and take that out too. Then I go digging around in the bed for my blue ringer t-shirt underwear, and the co-worker comes back in the room but now he’s become whiny twitchy Dave from Bravo’s Top Chef. And he laughs at me because I’m still there and still haven’t left yet like I keep saying I’m about to do.

That’s all I remember. There was something in there with buying merchandise in some college campus paraphenalia shops, and a girl that I might have been flirting with, but that’s all hazy.