should have known better
A few weeks ago The Little Red Haired Girl and I decided that we’ve been together long enough, and our families should meet. In particular we’d like them to meet before we have some sort of commitment ceremony or whatever bullshit we’ll have to do because we live in this assy state. So we decided to invite my fam to her fam’s house for Thanksgiving, which seemed ideal. My parents don’t generally have Thanksgiving plans, and The Little Red Haired Girl’s family always does it up. It’s also a time when everyone is guaranteed to be available and in the same place. I was nervous but excited about the idea. I’ve never been very close with my family, but they are a part of my life and I want them to at least meet my “in-laws,” who have been kind enough treat me as one of their own.
So we invite my family to come, and everyone seems ok with the idea. Then the emails from my mother start. She complains about the travel time and the plane ticket prices and traveling on Thanksgiving day. Her complaints are all somewhat vague and make little sense. She leaves researching the travel to my dad and me, only partially reads what we have found out, and for some reason decides that it’s too much effort for her to travel to VA from CT. I’m not entirely convinced that the traveling part is the real reason she is refusing to come. Really, it could be any number of things. I’m trying not to think that it’s because she just doesn’t want to meet The Little Red Haired Girl’s family and acknowledge that we are really together. Who knows.
So I’m pissed. And a little hurt. A lot hurt, really. We have had a shitton of family strife over the years, and I’ve never turned my back on her. When she realized that our family does not behave very family-like I put up with the “family vacations,” even when my brother opted out, even when I had better things to do and little time to spare. Well, it seems I’ve discovered that my mother only behaves in a family-like manner when it is convenient for her, and on her own terms.
I feel resigned, but still upset. I guess I should have known better than to get my hopes up. Actually, I feel a little ridiculous for even caring that this happened. There has been enough precedent over the years where one or the other of my parents have been too busy, too tired, or just too oblivious to participate in my life. They have their own ways of showing that they care, and I shouldn’t expect any more. It is what it is.
