the world is your acorn

We’ve been working our asses off trying to get settled. I think partly because it’s a much bigger house than where we moved from, and partly because it’s not been well kept, it’s been a tough go. We keep discovering ridiculous things about it as we live here, and the management company is slow and reluctant to respond. It took about 3 weeks to get a leak in the tub fixed, and the handyman seems to think a slow leak is not a problem. They still haven’t addressed the water pressure problem, and it’s unclear if they will, and the handyman is mad condescending about it.* We have a whole list of other things that we need to get them to do.

Then there’s the stuff that we just have to deal with on our own. There were no blinds/curtains anywhere in the house, so we have to buy those. They didn’t freshen up the paint in the house like they said they would, and there are some pretty gross rooms, including the bathroom. There’s tons of cabinets in the kitchen, but every single one has built-in, non-adjustable shelves so that nothing taller than 5 inches can be stored anywhere. The house is huge, but only has 1 ceiling fan, so we either have to buy standing fans or install ceiling fans ourselves. So far we’ve bought 1 standing fan, but I’m tempted to install some ceiling fans to lower our summer electric bill.

Anyway, there’s a ton of stuff like that. It’s expensive, but also time consuming and physically exhausting going out to buy stuff and installing various items around the house. Luckily, our New Little Buddies came by this weekend and helped us bang a bunch of stuff out, and for the first time we feel a lot more like we live here. It actually seems doable suddenly. There are still a lot of things, like more curtains and towel racks and the baby’s room and painting and all that, but we’re getting there. Last week I was so anxious about not feeling at home in our house that I couldn’t get any school work done. Now we’re about 6 weeks away from baby time, and I need to buckle down on this qualifying paper so it can get done by then, on top of getting ready for an end of June conference presentation and setting up my data site for July.

Trying not to panic.

*I’m not just being spoiled about water pressure, it’s actually really bad. When the washing machine is on, the rest of the house is down to a trickle. On top of which, low water pressure is really inefficient.

I was at the county clerk’s office the other day, waiting in line to register the car. I was at the front of the line, and the next available clerk looked up and said, “next.” The guy behind me then walked past me and up to the clerk. I just stared, not sure what to say. Luckily, I was not invisible to the clerk, because he told the guy that I was next.

On the train from the city to my parents’ place. We love and miss public transportation.

On a plane, on our way to Brooklyn for a wedding. Feels like everything has been completely hectic lately, with no time for routine. Guess we’d better get used to that for a while.

Some things that are true since the conference:

* Nashville flooded, and the city and friends are in disarray.
* We moved, and are still unpacking the new place. It doesn’t feel like home yet, and we haven’t had a home-cooked meal in a week, which is ick for us.
* We’re cleaning/fixing up the old place, getting it ready for closing.
* Our New Little Buddies are moving in a couple of months, to the same city the Superheroes live. Bully for them.
* The Superheroes are in town for Mrs. Superhero’s graduation. Fun.
* I have not gotten any legit work done since before the conference, and my insides are twisting up with anxiety about it.
* I feel totally behind in everything, and living hand to mouth, which I hate. Bills, cleaning, email, reading, work, everything. No routine. Only disarray. Not good for a Virgo. Must rectify, fast.

It’s time for the giant national annual conference in my field of study. I’ve been every year since my first year as a student here, and I’m going again this year. Even though there are reasons to dislike the conference (too large and unmanageable, peer reviewing process is awful), I’m always excited for it. It’s always in a fun city, there are enough interesting researchers there to make it worthwhile, and enough people that I know go so that it’s a good mix of work and fun.

This year though, I can tell I’m in a totally different place. I’m glad to be going, but also glad that I’m only staying a couple of nights instead of the 4 or 5 nights I usually go for. I’m over it partly because I’ve finally discovered my niche in this research world, and have had the opportunity to attend much smaller, more intimate conferences and events where I get to meet really smart people. Of course, the other part is that The Little Red Haired Girl isn’t joining me at all this year (she usually tries to get away and join me for at least part of the conference) because of our pre-baby budgeting and vacation-day-saving. And not only is she not joining me, I also feel a little guilty or anxious leaving her home alone while she is wicked pregnant and we are preparing to move in a week. And, a couple of weeks ago when I went away for a conference, all kinds of shit went down that I wish I’d been there for. Ugh.

I guess this is the next stage of the shedding of my foot-loose and fancy-free life. At least I’m fortunate enough to have multiple things in my life going on that I want to be there for; that’s much better than having none.

Yesterday I rearranged my day so that I could spend the majority of the afternoon checking out a last few rentals with The Little Red Haired Girl before making a decision. We had one that was really nice but a little too expensive and had some kitchen flaws that we were ready to pull the trigger on, and another that was doable but not ideal for a more affordable price. We thought that we might see one on Monday that was better than both those options, or at the very least help us figure out our priorities better. First we saw a ridiculously laid out place that stank like gasoline because the current tenants kept their lawnmower in the mud room instead of the shed in the yard. Right?

Then we saw Andrew’s place. Andrew’s place was gorgeous, super cheap, in a neighborhood with sidewalks (nothing to sneeze at, if you live in Nashville). But just a little too small. We could probably do it. At this point we decide it’s between Andrew’s place and the more affordable one from before.

The last showing of the day was what we were calling William’s place. Same rent as the more affordable one from before, and I’d driven around the neighborhood before and peeked in the yard, and liked it. The pictures also made it look beautiful inside, but you know how those go. I had actually been counting on this one being “the one” since last Friday, but the property manager couldn’t show it until Monday. So, while we wait for her, I drive The Little Red Haired Girl around the neighborhood (walking distance to bars and restaurants, and the grocery store!), and we looked in the yard. We both felt really good about it. When we saw the inside, we fell in love. I should say, we walked in the front door and saw the two front rooms and the kitchen, all open to each other, and fell in love. High ceilings, open layout, huge kitchen with lots of counters and cabinets, big windows (with screens!), hardwoods. Then The Little Red Haired Girl noticed that there is no dishwasher.

WHAT? We asked the property manager if the owner would be willing to put one in, and she said probably not. WHAT? She said that she was really into keeping the house all historic, was reluctant to put in central air and heat, and would probably not go for a dishwasher. We were heartbroken. Property Manager was totally passive about it, but finally she said she’d ask. Meanwhile, we looked more around the house and fell in love more. Huge closets, pantry, lots of space for baby and office and even a guest room, if we want. Property Manager comes back to say that her boss will call the owners, and she’ll get back to us tomorrow. We go home, convinced that we have to decide between Andrew’s house and the other place.

We actually debated between the two all night, and both slept terribly trying to figure out what to do. Then The Little Red Haired Girl talked to Property Manager this morning, and the dishwasher is a go! What with all the drama? Anyway, we are crazy relieved, and we don’t need to pay this much rent, but the place is gorgeous and the location is great. We can move in in two weeks, which gives us some cushion before closing, and Property Manager even agreed to add a garbage disposal.

Cons:
* We have to do an invisible fence for the dog, which is an added expense and inconvenience
* We have to buy a washer/dryer
* I’m worried I didn’t look carefully enough around the house because I was convinced we wouldn’t be able to live there

Well, it’ll be what it’ll be, I guess.
</rental drama> (i hope)

Well, the good news is that our house is basically sold. The appraisal hasn’t officially come through yet, nor has the closing date come and gone. However, we are feeling positive about it. I know that things tend to go wrong, and this buyer/agent have not been the easiest to deal with. But we are also pretty sure that he wants the place pretty badly. He scheduled a showing for his mom this past weekend. Just sayin’. So, at the risk of jinxing the whole damn thing, I’m going to say that I’m not super worried about the sale.

I am, however, getting really sad to say goodbye to the house. It’s really great little house, and has served our purposes really well for 4 years. Sure, there are little things about it that piss us off. Like there’s nowhere to keep the vacuum cleaner. Or our food. And the windows don’t have screens and are oddly shaped so we’d have to have custom screens made. At the same time, looking at rentals around town, we’re learning that all other houses have similar and usually many more problems.

By “problems,” I realize that mostly I’m talking about “not our preference.” Like people love the hell out of a divided sink around here. Why? How do you soak a pan? And they don’t seem to care about garbage disposals, even though they are fairly cheap to buy/install and make life WAY easier. And god forbid you flip a house and design a kitchen with more than 4 square feet of counter space. And the carpet! OMG the carpet. WHY the carpet?

So we’re feeling down to the wire on this whole renting thing. We have less than a month before we have to get out of here, and we still haven’t nailed down a place. We had 1 that we loved snatched up because we couldn’t commit soon enough (waiting for inspection and appraisal of our house), and 1 that was pretty good snatched up because I was out of town and The Little Red Haired Girl didn’t want to apply without my having seen it. Literally as we were walking up the front steps to go see it, we saw the couple asking for an application. We have a couple of places that will be fine, and actually much cheaper, but each comes with its compromises. It’s just so hard to know which compromises will make us crazy and which will be fine. Will it be:

• Carpet all throughout the house?
• Paying a couple hundred dollars a month more than we want to?
• A slopey yard but a sunroom to keep our outdoor furniture in?
• A small yard?
• No fenced yard, so the dog will have to have an invisible fence?
• A half-sized dishwasher?
• Not enough kitchen space but lots of space elsewhere?
• The house not in walking distance to anything fun?
• An electric coil stove (which is my least favorite of all the possibilities)?
• Not all the windows have screens?

Right now, I think I’m leaning toward the cheaper place with the electric coil stove, carpets, some screened windows, and no fenced yard. We’re going to see one more today (The Little Red Haired Girl is actually going to see 3, but I have meetings), and decide tonight or tomorrow. Of course, then it’ll be pending application and all that. It’ll be nice to stop thinking about this, and finally be able to start imagining our stuff in the new place. Feeling this temporary sucks.

1) some things that piss me off:
1a) Inconsiderate people. These are people who can’t get their shit together, and don’t notice or care that it’s usually at someone else’s expense.
1b) Lazy people. These are people who can’t be bothered to do anything better than half-assed, and can’t see past the short term. Again, they never seem to notice or care that it’s usually at someone else’s expense.
1c) When it feels like something is stuck between my teeth, but there’s not actually anything there.
1d) When my heart is 3 sizes too small. This is when I can tell that I need to let something go because it’s not that consequential in the long run, but something has gotten so far under my skin that I can’t get past it. This often results from encounters with #1a and/or #1b. Notably, #1a and #1b has a large population at their intersect.

2) some things that might help me get un-pissed off
2a) Overreacting in private.
2b) Stewing for a little bit, and talking a lot of trash in the meanwhile. This is a subset of #2a.
2c) Interactions with people who are not at all like #1a or #1b people to help me gain some perspective.
2d) Heavy drinking

It’s inspection day! That’s all I have to say about that. I will try not to be holding my breath about it all day.

This evening, for 3 long hours, will also be our second Bradley method birthing class. I should probably be finding a way to enjoy it more, but it’s sort of just plain excruciating. Things to look out for:

• Husbands enacting husbandly stereotypes in cringy ways
• Instructor trying to be PC, but saying “husband” out of habit then correcting herself to say “partners” (we appreciate the effort, really we do)
• Weird heteronormative things like the pink handouts being for the girls
• Lots of adolescent-like giggling around uncomfortable topics like vaginas
• Call and response discursive routines that no one is willing to participate in
• Awkward amounts of personal sharing with a group of strangers

Also, for the record, we are in love with a rental place which we can’t afford and probably, for some reason or another, won’t get. It’s a nice fantasy though, while it lasts.