ick. In case you don’t know how the Google search engine works, it depends on outgoing links to rank sites. So if more webpages link the string “friedapplepie” to this site than any other, then I’d be the top search hit. Well, some asshole has managed to google bomb the phrase “martin luther king” for evil. Here is my contribution to the side of good:
Archive for wtf?
I’m finally trying to deal with the soggy mess left in the basement after Basement Flood: January 2006. Why did I find a family of snails in the Weber box? Where did they come from? What do they eat?
I had this scary dream last night which is still pretty clear in my head, which is unusual for me. I worked for this religious group, which might sound strange but it wasn’t strange in the dream. It was an office at the front of a house and a bunch of people trying to do a job, basically. Then suddenly we had a prisoner, who was being treated really well and with respect, but then I realized that my boss, who I thought was cool, was planning and wheeling him up this ramp-like apparatus with a platform at the top, then over the edge. It was going to be this big sacrifice that was going to make everyone crazy about our group somehow.
As the time got nearer I kept thinking I could convince the boss to change his mind, but then suddenly it was too late and he was holding a ziploc bag full of some of the prisoner’s organs. That hadn’t been part of the plan, to take out his organs, and I got really upset because I had liked the prisoner and plus I knew it was wrong to sacrifice him. So I pushed past my boss and ran out the door, getting some blood on me as I touched him.
I think some time passed for the office but not for me, because suddenly it was another day in the office and I had come back to gather my things. I still had the blood on me, and I was dirty, and I was in a t-shirt and mesh shorts but no underwear because one of my co-workers had hidden it for the bridal shower. (You might be asking, what bridal shower? Just try and follow along. It never made sense in the first place, remember?) So I was looking for my underwear under the direction of my co-worker, which resulted in finding a shirt before finding my underwear, which turned out to be a small blue ringer t-shirt.
Then suddenly I’m at the front desk and the boss is asking me to take a call because it’s super busy in the office now that the group is all popular from the sacrifice thing. And I’m like “oh, he must have forgotten that I went against him on this sacrifice thing and that I don’t work here anymore.” But part of me still wanted to stay because it had been a good job and I had enjoyed working with the people there. So I took the call, then I went into a room in the back to shower since I still had the blood on me. I started to go in the room when a co-worker came in also, asking what I was doing there. I had to beg him to just let me shower fast so I could leave, but I also told him about answering the phone and how the boss seemed to have forgotten that I quit. He just laughed at me, saying something snide about my not holding true to my values and he knew I’d come back.
So he went away and I showered under this shower head with a thin, powerful stream over a big bed. I didn’t want to get the bed wet so I tried to block the water with my body, and I got a hard stream of water in my left ear. So then I’m jumping around on my left foot on the floor trying to get the water out, and I loose my underwear again. Plus my eyes are bothering me, so I take out a contact from my right eye (I don’t wear contacts in real life), and discover that there have been 4 contacts in there the whole time. I take the contact out of my left eye, find an eyelash poking straight into my eyeball, and take that out too. Then I go digging around in the bed for my blue ringer t-shirt underwear, and the co-worker comes back in the room but now he’s become whiny twitchy Dave from Bravo’s Top Chef. And he laughs at me because I’m still there and still haven’t left yet like I keep saying I’m about to do.
That’s all I remember. There was something in there with buying merchandise in some college campus paraphenalia shops, and a girl that I might have been flirting with, but that’s all hazy.
I don’t get much spam- maybe five or six emails a day. I don’t give out my email address, and I think the only website it is posted on is for rugby. In that case, why is it that 90% of the spam I get is in Japanese? I’m not Japanese, my name doesn’t sound or look Japanese, and neither does my email address. I wonder if someone is using my email address to register for Japanese porn or something.
Via Boing Boing, a woman in Romania stole a cell phone the other day, and hid it where the sun don’t shine. Police had to call it and listen for the ring in order to find it. The article is worth a read, for sure.
Police extract stolen mobile from woman’s posterior [The Register]
Ok, I got kinda barfy and didn’t surf the site. But I know at least a couple of you out there who are definitely going to check this out (and possibly even buy it), so here it is:
Hufu is human flavored tofu, originally made for anthropology students to experience cannibalism without violating those pesky ethical obstacles. I’m not really sure how they know how to make it human flavored or how they know it actually is, but maybe a perusal of the website will tell more. Let us know what you find out!
So, The Little Red-Haired Girl and I had a pretty good weekend. I didn’t have class on Friday, but I went to school to get some work done in the morning. We were going to bike to the Frist after lunch, but she showed up at my “pod” (little cubicle space) because she had come to the library to check email. After that we walked over to the bike store to get her tires pumped, then biked to her new place of employ to pick stuff up. By the time we got home it was too late to go to the museum, so we cooked a dinner that we could bring along to see The Winter’s Tale in the park with school friends.
The play turned out to be interesting, and Claire is a theater person so she gave us her critique, which was such a cool perspective. After we went to Jud and Laura’s and hung out until mad late. They are just fun to chill with.
Saturday we went and bought a dresser for me, finally. We got it at a consignment shop, so it is a good, solid, Real Wood dresser with no Stupid Drawers. That night our school friends came over and hung out for a while, and then we went to a school people party down the street from our house. It was a pretty typical sitting around talking and drinking kind of a thing. It was nice to see people in a social setting, and to meet school people that I don’t know yet too. Once we got bored at the party we went back to our house and ddr’ed and eye-toyed. It was a hoot. Again to bed real late though – I am totally jet-lagged today.
Sunday The Little Red-Haired Girl and I shopped for groceries and things in bulk at Sam’s Club. That pretty much took up the whole day for some reason. We also did some more unpacking and put the dresser in the bedroom, which makes everything seem way more like home. No more duffel bags for our clothes. Now the real obstacle is just bookshelves. But what with the money situation, that will just have to wait.
The bad thing that happened this weekend is that our grill got stolen out of our driveway. We keep it on the side of the house, which is where our back door is. Well, we used to keep it there. When I went to get my bike this morning it was gone. The dish that goes on the bottom of it to catch ashes was in the driveway in a pile of ash, along with a big footprint. I guess he ran off with it in a big hurry. Those of you who know us know that about 60% of our meals happen in that grill. It sucks pretty bad. I hate that we live in this neighborhood where we have to fucking bolt everything in place. I don’t feel particularly unsafe, just sad. Part of it is that there is this alley that runs behind our house, where the garbage truck rolls through. I think that it is good cover for people to sneak into backyards and driveways at night, because no one is ever back there and it’s dark. Maybe our landlord will put up a fence for us or something. It’s just so frustrating. I know that we could be way worse off, but at the same time it’s not like we can just pick up and buy another grill tomorrow, either.
Also, still no internet. And comcast has charged our credit card for a month of digital cable and internet at our old house in Somerville, after we’ve called twice about getting that cancelled. I think that we had such a nice weekend, it just couldn’t last.
Too bad Nashville is not closer to Petersburg, KY (~4.5 hours); B might have found a job at the Creation Museum that is being built there…
Creationist Museum opening soon [Boing Boing]
why come the guy sitting next to me on the T today was clipping his fingernails?